Dear Diary

I have such long time that I did not own a diary. And, may be it was three months ago. I stopped. Then, it was four years ago. Blog is not a diary for me. I can't shout out anything and just ramble what did I do for the days, weeks or months. However, they are similar in sense of happyness, sorrowness, complaints, arguments and dislike.

I wanted my blog acts like a diary so much.

Today, what did I do?

I attend the Monday class regularly but the lecturer was in MC. I got no idea why was the news did not come early to me and I seemed like an idiot attending classes but actually there is no one to come. I think everyone was there as seem it was the last day. It is not an official class today but just a briefing to the fucking sucks field trip which consists of 8% of report, compulsary.

I called my father to bring home and before that we went for a check up for his lauzy van. And, that is the only transport currently which uses to bring me here and there.

Later I reached back just sitting infrom my computer and starting on my pet society gaming. Fun but bored. I was so scared that I couldn't get the jobs that I applied but yet I still got the response from the agency. I slept in the whole afternoon. Was, headache, so pain. bUt, still playing with my pet game.

Yes, I did re-cook the curry chicken. Basically I think my mom's cooking is definitely a failure. I is proven. It is not tasty at all. I got no point to starve, but, just, eat it.

Night now, I can't imagine that I might become a singing teacher one day. I am teaching a friend of mine to sing. He claims that he sings not good. Wonder, I can teach online with open up my piano tutorial and singing lesson.

I got no mood to sleep. Yet, I am still pending in my CS assignment.

Waiting someone who could tell me..

Who are the designers for LV and Gucci brand ???????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I know it Fails. Again.

You have no idea why am I typing this while I am having a huge heavy kind of feel on my head is aching. Shit, I even don't aware whether am I typing the right things. I got no enough sleep last night because of keep feeding my peipei pet in my facebook's pet society. You must will think to join me there.

I played fool by the problematic lecturer this morning who ensured that we must attend her class on Monday morning to that briefing but she threw us a plane. She is MC. I wonder think to get crazy and madness full of my head, rather, just don't think too much, one more month to go and I can fly away very far far far far far~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I did not receive any calls neither from the agency nor the Xerox company. I know it is a bad sign and it is now almost 1pm. I should give some confidence and pay some faith to myself. But, prediction is not that always correct. Obviously, I wanted to cry.

I can't get any posts or any jobs that I applied for. Playing fool around just to attend interviews for fun. But, not keen to hire. Where, don't just simply view jobstreet and see there are plenty of jobs that hire this and that posts. It is just a illusion, a bluff, a trick. They don't mean it. Just to ask you to attend interviews which cost time and money and energy.

I CAN'T GET ANY JOBS THAT I APPLIED

I hate that... GIVE me A JOB!!

T__________T

my secondary life~

Wonder where is your ugly white and light blue uniforms had gone. I dumped it after finished my SPM four years ago. I still remember I owned 3 uniforms and 1 baju kurung. I hated to school but probably only travel to tuition centre. That's my secondary school life. I don't study. Most probably had well commanded in only few subjects like maths, accounts, economics and add maths. Sometimes, science and sejarah (history). Definitely think moral is unnessasry, and wtf is this sujbect teaching.

We was so exciting when Yuka first came here and joined our class. take picture~ take picture~


from left: me, ah lian, ah leng, yuka, ah yoke, yu teng, and yee teng.. (all are super old names)

Everyone was definitely an ah lian.


This was when form 5. I don't know whether it was Hari Guru or whatever function. But, I remember that we were going to a trip after this.

I got a super long hair during my ah lian century. Yes, the left one...


wonder where was I looking for..



This was in Form 5. Took the photo just after I chopped my hair. Just wanted to keep a photo to get a sweet memoirs for the SPM. = =


From left: me, ah leng, wai ting, ah lian, yee teng, ah yoke, maggie~~ muakakaka~



We have so many "ah teng"s in my secondary school.

this was when the traditional dance. IT IS NOT A GHOST STORY SCENE~ = =

A harsh harsh~ hard hard life

My dad was keeping mention about the life is such as game. Yes, I know it. So, how to keep it well-managed to avoid game over will be another discussion.

Our life is not solely belongs to ourself, but, people and environment which surrounds us. Yes, the network. For example, what are the things or phenomenan which surrounds you now. Me? I am going to print my thesis soon, going to do the corporate strategy, read my exam topics, going to field trip and recently interviewed with few companies that I am looking for jobs.

However, your life is a game, you say. On the other hand, you might become a game for your life to. Or, you are one of the characters which God uses you to play his/her game. Vice Versa.

Honestly, my point in this post is to express my anxiety and worry in doing my job best. I have no idea which is this a right decision that I made. Yes, somehow, I wish to go Fuji Xerox and try the hell-working-post of logistic executive. Long working hours and worse than sweatshops. Stress and committed to time. Precise and correct analitical results to be produced. And, firstly, your work sure will from 7.30 till late 9pm for a fresh new person who just go in.

I don't like to do sales as I hate to hit target monthly and approach the market that stresses me. Why don't I stress myself by just producing reports. Muahaha...

I have no idea.

I went to several companies and few of them demand for second round interview if I am the one who being shortlisted. It wastes my time as well theirs.

Anxiety and Worry, am I sustainable and mantainable enough to work in a full pressures kind of working life. Or, I just have to sit there and sipping my Milo drink.

I still choose the hard one. No matter 7.30am to 9.00pm, pay me RM1800.

wHY?

that is my life..

it sounds stupid..

aiyo~ I dono I can tahan or Not lar~~~

Too Busy yet too Free

I am crying for too busy and too free. I am supposed to be happy to attend any interviews. !@$$$#^%^*#$!#!.

I am really feel siick of interviews and agencies' call. They actually don't read what are my qualifications and the notice period also my expected salary.

Yes, I admit that sometimes I might just simply click on their post to apply. They do not provide specific job locations, specific responsibilities and scopes for us to refer. All will feel no point but just click on it and try the luck. Just wait their responses and may be it might be a good company.

For instance, one agency called for whether I am looking a job in a banks. Definitely I asked what banks. "Top 4 local banks" she said. Since I got no interest they are not going to tell any of it and then keep it secret. AND, they did not read my resume that I only available after December and wtf was they need me to start immediately. The last word that I always say when answering this kind of phone will "BYE BYE". I have sicked of it..

I just want to complete the entire interviews within this week and I am not going to attend any interviews anymore. Wish I could find one after the new year.

SICK~ SICK~ SICK~

and now I do feel so heavy head. Headache of printing out their location maps and wonder where is the place. Feel like vomit. Sigh~.

Today consider a last day for the CGG dr Chan's class. I do not know that I should happy or sad. But, just acknowledge that I could be happy after all I consider to leave the school soon and might be, hopefully. Excitement where there is still a long way to go. I am totally blurred, stucked and sicked of searching jobs that is most suitable for myself. Hope I am not the one supposed to be picky, still I have to be fussy in choosing jobs. Certain, I do not want to end my entire life without a little bit of nothing.

Cry~~~~..

Have a shower and nice sleep.

=S

Happy holiday and merry Christmas everyone.

the evolution

OK, this post will definitely create lotsa fun you guys. However, just promise me not to laugh until your jaw broke.. erm.. >.<

aiya

Still remember that time.. Yes, I was tiny, small and young. I did hate for any photo shooting sessions. I hate to take photo as people looking at me. As now, I love to take photos myself but not others staring at me.ok..

Thus, it is hard to find any passport size or those blue colour background photos when any emergency happen..

like.. "Oi, Pei Pei ah! You no more photo meh? I want to register the form wants your photo one.. you no take ah.."

See, that is how I will start to quarell with my parents, and, I very hate to take that stupid blue colour background photo.

And, all my family members will laugh at every single passport photo I took. Funny, yes.. they think it is very funny and how ugly I am.

When I was searching for passport size photos for my interview... I discovered:

this is when I was 5. I have no idea why my mom brought me for this. May be it was approaching the year in standard one.



this is when 9 years old. I have no idea as well. I have totally lost idea why I was this.



this was in Form 1. The first year that everyone has to take photos for their report cards, library cards and whatever.. I just.. yish.. so ugly..



Ok.

Just stop laughing ok...




yes...



NOW!!!!!!!






And, this was may be ... Form 4. For my passport and ET tuition centre ID.

My mom was laughing at me : "haha, you totally look like those ah moi's who just came from China or just like illegal immigrant. Sure the kastam will block you from departure after they view your passport.."

= =





this was the L lisence. I still remember that candidates who passed the driving undang-undang have to take a photo like this by them on spot. I was in trouble that I did not even have RM10 in my pocket, after I passed it. Someone lend RM10 to me, and then I can take it.. = =.. Horrible. TQ




this was during foundation year I think. Yes. In IC....



this is my P Lisence. Also Stamford ID.

I awared that I did not keep enough photos. Then I took this just after I got my SPM result and at the same day My grandma passed away. So, you can see my swolen eyes.

It appears in my UEL ID.

This is my Driving lisence. During year one I think....

Year 2's passport to Singapore. It looks really a vampire kind of.. yeah.. Twilight. = =. vApid.

Somehow, I hate it.. But, I still went for this.

I think was during age of 18. I have no idea when the photographer was so big in his expression like..

"yeah, be...happy... yeah...smile.... yeah..put your hands on side.... bla bla bla.." acting like those gay guy..

He even asked me to "open" my eyes widely. I apologized that my ability does not allow me to do so, and I rather demand for a slightly photoshoped results.. And those passengers were staring at at the middle of Mid Valley (took this in the centre of mid valley). Yee.. I still remember got one very hum-sup ang moh with big big tummy was staring at me.. >.<

Definitely like those 18 years old ah lian..

this is the most current one. Yes, 21st!

Still laughing?

= =

Vapid..

Whatever.

hng~

just.. STOP it..

aiyai..pei pei.. stop crapping and bullshit of your stupid Ex. Get back to normal and be your own. Where's the spookygal gone?

Be happy because of courage..

****

I love to watch and read TWILIGHT. Still waiting the chance to pass by my side. And see whether I can catch it.

Doesn't it sound very weird of a love story of vampie and normal human. It might be romantic. But, it might be boring as well...

I hate watching love stories without plots or specific contents. Yet, I expect to learn something from it. Learn what har? don't think.... duh

No lar, just feel this kind of life might not happen to me again.

Now? Just try to stuck in every stupid work and assignment. >.<

Then, work...

I am actively searching a job..

RM5000 as a fresh graduate... Who wants to hire me? Who wants to hire me?

^_^

中间

一个人一整夜无法入眠　
最后决定只拥抱再见
离开我的房间灯火全灭　
关不上的门是心那一面

我仿佛听见你还在门前
曾清楚对你画的线
第一次让泪水变的不坚决　
原谅我行装只整理到昨天

总要离开才发现　

有一个人在习惯和爱中间
因为每一天见面　
才让那想念自然而不明显
到了离别才发现　
有一个人在习惯和爱中间
以为说出了再见　(但转身的想念)　
连自己都无法骗

一个人一整夜无法入眠　
最后决定只拥抱再见
离开我的房间灯火全灭　
关不上的门是心那一面

我仿佛听见你还在门前　
曾清楚对你画的线
第一次让泪水变的不坚决　
原谅我行装只整理到昨天

总要离开才发现　

有一个人在习惯和爱中间
因为每一天见面　
才让那想念自然而不明显
到了离别才发现　
有一个人在习惯和爱中间
以为说出了再见　(但转身的想念)　
连自己都无法骗

哪一天再见
当初小小的爱恋　
还在不在原点

总要离开才发现　
有一个人在习惯和爱中间
因为每一天见面　
才让那想念自然来去穿越

到了离别才发现　
分不清你在喜欢和爱中间
以为说的是再见(下一刻的想念)
而明天我怎么演

a Final post of you

今天。也就是第二天了。突然想起，你可能已经去了香港了。想起香港，就想起朋友带回来给我的纪念品，都已经从金色退变成银色了。也有朋友告诉我，去过了日本的DISNEY, 你就会觉得香港的根本一点都不好玩。

有一种会很想去偷看我的电话，看你有没有SMS 我。的那种冲动。

想到。。

我应该这样吗？

很心痛。

我做对了吗？

又有一段时间，还记得，我问过你，到低一个钱币，拿到头或花的机率是多少。

我真的要回你还是不回你，都靠那个头或花来告诉我的决定。听起来很白目。很荒谬。可是，这是真的。

想清楚，为了你而活，值得吗？没有值不值得的，最重要，是有过曾经。和不曾后悔的心。坦白说，我真的很后悔。不是后悔曾经和你在一起，而是后悔相信了你。

到现在，我真的很不懂到底真正的分手理由是什么。


是。。

你喜欢着心里的某个她。。

你玩腻了我。。

你有过太感伤的第一次。。

你妈要你与我分手。。

还是。。你还有太多太多的理由。


我不想知道了。


当你说我有个复杂的家庭背景时。我还真的有深层的去思考。 我的家人，真的有那么的复杂吗？难道，我不是我父母亲生的吗？还是我爸在外有二太？复杂？真的吗？。。


想了很久的我。。不想了。。


才察觉，原来是门当户对。“复杂 ”只是个掩护词，想说的是我家穷。对，我家不算很有钱，可是也算过得去，除了还有房屋贷款和我妈的信用卡，都算过得去。弟弟在外有工作，我呢，也开始找着薪水不错的工作。妈妈还是普通的上班族，爸爸退休了的生活就是和他的宝贝鸟们，狗儿，和花草树木沟通。有时候，就去一些健康活动，不然就捉我来骂。


我家根本就没有什么大公司，也没有任何的企业，连一个卖NASI LEMAK的摊子都没有。我们的一生就是打工，没做生意。我想，就是因为这样，我家才显得复杂吧。


还有，你妈二话不说地就问，是不是我破坏了你和你前女友。我又开始想了，我真的有那么大的魅力吗？还真谢谢你妈对我的夸奖。但是，你妈真的没发现“牛不喝水，按不到牛头低”吗？如果当时是真的我的错，难道，做唯儿子的你，没有察觉我是这么的贱吗？你还会接受一个会破坏感情的人当你女朋友吗？

很愚蠢，很白痴。。

和你在一起的最后那个星期，当你一直在提你妈拼命问起你与前女友的事情，我不知道你是要我给你什么样子的反应，你要我怎样回答你。需要我安慰你吗？需要我帮你追回她吗？你要我给你怎样的答案？你有想到我的感受吗？难道。。


这到底关我什么事啊。。


最可笑的是，你的妈妈会读你的电话里的短讯。哈哈~ 如果我发现我妈会这样做的话，我真的不会放过她。好笑的是，你妈读的是我发给你的短讯。当你妈问起，佩佩是你的谁时。你还真的回答我只是你的轮胎，一个无花纹的轮胎。


想一想，我还真的是一个没有任何魅力的一个无花轮胎。我从来不是个有礼貌，斯文，得体的女孩。去任何场合也都随便打扮就好，因为我的目的是去那边吃的，穿这样美干吗？讲话粗俗，名副其实的三八婆。我。真的有那么大的魅力吗？

当你告诉你妈，你和我在一起的那个时候。第一时间，你妈想到的是我家庭背景很复杂。你妈所想的，是你和我在一起，还是你和我的家人在一起啊？我只觉得很恐怖。我甘愿你妈说的是我，说我很没有礼貌，说我丑，说我成绩不好，说我不像个淑女，说我不会弹上五种乐器，说我人品很有问题，说我自私自利，说我很会利用你。说我穷。。


还记得有一次约好了要到你的家吗？KTF也来啊。 我只是坐在那个角落玩你的电脑。你妈问的问题真的很让人作呕。除了问候我父母和家人，就直接问我老豆在SEPANG的屋子。心想，真的有那么多人知道这件事吗？你妈又怎样知道啊？想了一想，就算知道，也是很久的事情了，需要把那两间屋子记到现在？就算是我，早就把那两间屋子忘得一干二净了。


过了一会儿，你爸回来的时候，你妈就告诉他还记得我吗？MANHOE(我弟弟)？还向你爸强调我弟弟现在在云顶做工。我就突然全身发麻。有这样的必要吗？就不过在一家上市公司上班。。

我只是觉得很恶心。。恶心到不敢想象未来的是一个怎样的社会。


虽然，我妈妈和爸爸，也有曾经有这样的思想，也有试过狗眼看人低。最后，是被我骂道他们清醒地。对，我会与我父母吵架。因为，我们都大了，我相信有时候，我们的思想往往都会胜过他们。为什么就只有他们可以劝骂我们，我们就不能说他们呢？


因为，我觉得，我很希望这种恶心的现象，会在这社会消失。


很讶异，这个世界还会有这种人的存在。离奇，现在还有门当户对的戏。马来西亚，除了印裔之外，还有那么的传统吗？


我有把这事情告诉某些朋友。朋友却告诉我，你妈她很无脑。


当时，我真的开始有点可怜你了。真的很可怜你有个很无脑的妈妈。想一想，也不关你的事。开始担心你，因为，你可怜。

我可以学KTF完全不理你了。学着恨你，讨厌你。坦白说，我真的做不到。就因为，你可怜。


你妈她竟然打电给KTF妈。说什么？你应该比我更清楚吧。有这种必要吗？


我开始可以想象，你妈她也可以致电给我，骂我是个很犯贱地第三者，骂我为什么还有和他那宝贝儿子联络。。。。


我开始觉得有点恐怖了。。。为什么会这样的恐怖呢。。。

我当时，真的更加的可怜你了。


你有忧郁病？我看，我先得都还轮不到你吧。


你觉得输了5000，是没什么大不了的事。可是， 这令我想到，当那时大学一年级时，走在DAMANSARA UTAMA, UPTOWN的我。身上是连50仙都没有。是当我想在摊子，买两个CURRY PUFF的时候。才发现我荷包里只有3仙（两年前）。刚才那一块，早就在搭巴士用掉了。

我很白痴吧。

我就是在这种没钱的生活里度过整整两年的。不知道为什么，突然觉得很光荣，很骄傲。可惜的是，我完全在极大压力的环境里头。就这样，子宫里也就不知不觉长了个肿瘤。一个，是我在，穷，没钱，功课，和各种压力所产生的肿瘤。可是，我还是觉得很光荣。= =


忧郁病？这种身上只有3仙的事，你有经历过吗？我看， 你没有这样的机会吧。。


我真的不再想与你有任何瓜葛了，就保持在十年都没见的样子吧。朋友？我还真的不敢当。家庭背景复杂的我，就连当你的朋友都不配吧。

你。不用再跟我说早安了，不用再跟我说晚安了。

不用告诉我今天你到你叔叔家玩。。

不用告诉我你和你妈妈一起做PIZZA。。

不用告诉我你几点要做家务。。

不用告诉我你假期要到哪里玩。。

不用告诉我你今天吃了什么。。

不用告诉我你发了什么梦。。

不用。。。不用。。。


因为， 这些都不是我要的答案。都不是我要知道的事。。

你肯定觉得你不是个好人。。

但是，我可以告诉你，你肯定是个100%好的人。。

因为，我家的OSCAR看到你，却不吠你。

你还帮我找回陪我多年的神牌。

神牌的事情，已经足够证明你是个好人。。

但是，我只可以告诉你，好人，其实是比坏人更难当的。。

就像AUNTY讲的那样，你有你的过活，我有我的快乐。就这样，就这样。。


你应该还在读着吧。。


我终于把所有事情赤裸裸地摊开了，我压抑许久的事情。。

因为，我要做回我自己，这，也才是真正的我。狮子座，不就是要面子吗，晚上自己的时候，偷偷的哭又有谁知道。强韧的表面，脆弱的心。我知道，我还需要很长的时间。。我不知道要花上多少年。。就像活在忙碌的生活里。麻醉自己。


这是属于我一个人的BLOG, 我是不会以读者的要求更改任何内容。以上全都纯碎是我个人的感想和经历。但是，我会为我写上的每一个字负责。。。

I notice hor... when I write this kind of post, I got many visitors leh... hahahaha....

thank you thank you for comming...

drop down your comments ya..

重要的。 习惯

佩佩。学着去习惯吧。

人。 是自私的。学着习惯喜欢自己多过于别人

今天。我终于鼓起勇气向你说了。

虽然不是很明确。庆幸你能明白。

现在已经十二月了。也已经过了瞒久。

我的朋友们都感到很惊讶。

“佩佩？你们还有联络的呀？”

“忘记他啦。佩佩！不要吊他啦！”

“最好连讲话都不要讲、比较好咯。”

当时的我。真的感觉到很大压力。

试着去忘记你却不能。辛苦的是。连作功课都一直在想。我真的不敢想象我的风水功课和globalization都是在有你的脑海里度过的。不是功课压力。是我脑海里产现的压力。

我时时刻刻都在埋怨。埋怨为什么。我当时会去杨协城，埋怨为什么我不慎重考虑其它的工作。

还一直说：“我原本是去FUJI XEROX的咯”


每一晚都在想。每一晚都很难入睡。

美梦?

发了很多奇怪的。又很搞笑。

压力吧。搞得我每天都很累。

有时候，真的不知道你是在想什么。

分手，是你提的。

让我感觉到并不怎么像。

大概每天的一大早。你都会很准时的传了个问候。令我不知不觉地想诉说我有多不高兴，很想发脾气。令我很想告诉你我现在的生活状况。


有时候。真的很想当我打开邮件时，看到的是你寄来的问候，我很高兴，毕竟当不上情吕，这份知己也都不错一下。


有时候，当我打开邮件希望是你时，让我感到失望的是HOTLINK莫名其妙的广告。不是你，让我有点失落。


这是朋友吗？为什么我的朋友们每个早上都不跟我传短讯啊？


起初，我真得以为可以是朋友。可是那个KT*:“不要吊他啦，那个MLY.”



说的也是，可是，我可以这样做吗？


有一段时间，让我真的很迷惑。你是怎样想？你真的是这样幼稚吗？不成熟？


当我决定恨你，讨厌你的当时。你总共传了15封我没有回你的短讯。5个我没接的电话。


这让我想到我所有朋友给我的忠告。

当了情侣过后，就连朋友也不能当，的忠告。这已经是很大的问题了。难道你不觉得有问题吗？


分手的原因，往往都是：“我希望你找到一个比我更好的。”，“我希望你过的开心。”


你觉得呢？


你答应我出一半的价钱买LENOVO给我。价钱一点都不便宜。

做唯我朋友的你，真的有这样的打算？你是在觉得亏欠我，还是要泥补我些什么吗？你难道没有想到后果吗？


我曾经真的以为是朋友，可以是死党。

当你女朋友的那时候，我把你所有的沉默和欺骗都吞进肚子里。在夜晚的当时，才默默地从眼角流眼泪。


当我接受我与你分开的刹那，我可以想象我们终于可以在没有隐瞒的作死党，做好朋友。因为，有可能很多事情，你怕我听了会很不高兴，又怕你自己会说错话。


可是。

并不是我想得一样。


你的每一句话里，不知道有多少部分是假，多少是真。


我终于可以想到，你利用我的感觉，顺从你每一句谎言。

有时候觉得被利用的自己，不知道是傻？却坠落在一场骗局里。从头到尾，我的角色是扮演一个无花了的轮胎。
可能可以是装饰品，觉得感觉不对的时候就丢掉咯，得空的时候，拿回来彩色也不错，反正都是，要丢的。


你告诉我你没有朋友，我替你担心。

你告诉我你有很多功课，我替你烦恼。

你告诉我你莫名其妙被陌生人骗了7块钱，我替你不值得。

你告诉我你所有的事，我都替你感到喜怒哀乐。

谁？替我感到我的所有呢？



在感情利用中，往往都很不逻辑。谁替谁想呢？



爱情的故事，盲目与疯狂永远相依为命的。你难道没听过这个故事吗？
这是我人生里头最喜欢的爱情故事。故事里头就只有。爱情。疯狂。为什么爱情会盲了双眼呢？为什么疯狂这么的粗心大意呢？有趣。。有趣。。


命运吗？


放不下的我。都一直活在自责的世界。我错了。我真的知错了。


当我爸每天早上载我到学校的路途，经过OLD-TOWN PJ的麦当劳店时。心里真的有一阵的酸痛。当我经过那里的茶餐厅时，想到的是没有再可能发生的情节。我连走在巴杀里，看到螃蟹都掉头走。不想我的家人看到我一面吃螃蟹一面流泪的样子。那碟螃蟹真的有那么辣吗?


我的双眼，又不知不觉布满了泪水了。


在洗米的过程当中，泪水差点掉进米饭里，连米也都给我洗到碎了。


今天去见工，还兴致勃勃以为在PUCHONGJAYA. 原来是在BANDAR PUCHONG JAYA, 公司就在你家附近。今天也好像绕过了我们分手的“太平人”。我连看都不敢看，都一直低着头。那个死鬼会转路的老豆，说有SHORT CUT, 就在住宅区里绕来绕去，还一面讲他在哪里曾经收过报纸。不知道哪一间是你的屋子，总而言之，我看到的屋子全部都是大大间的。


今天绕了一圈KLCC, 忙了个空。却。真的令我想到要去面对一切。因为，KLCC 真的令我感到很心酸。今天，我坐在EXHIBITION MALL 前的椅子。 对。我们曾经一起坐过的椅子，我记得是因为它就在厕所前。令我想到这就是命运。


看到AQUARIA，令我想到你在看鱼，看到很白痴的眼神。还跟冲进来一大班的小学生一样，很幼稚。虽然我还有两次的进场机会。我不觉得，我还会再去了。50块买一个票，却令我很感伤。除非，里面有美人鱼吧。


命运吧。。。


被一家AGENT说FUJI XEROX现在要LOGISTIC EXECUTIVE, 把我的FILE给了它们。莫名其妙有机会说可以去FUJI XEROX。三个月前，却不能。一直埋怨说本来是去FUJI XEROX 的我，现在令我感到仿佛好像回到三个月前。


命运吧。。。


THATZ 就在你家附近。



命运一直在玩弄。。。

真的。不知道这种莫名其妙，何时才能够停止。

注定吗？

哭了。。。。。

不要再说对不起了。。。

I can't manage to squezz into that Bill Clinton talk.

so sad.

After a quite stupid long queu for almost 30 minutes.

QUICKLY . hand in my IC to that counter with my blurred face. @,@~~

that feller: " You gonna attend the talk with this attire or may be with your business suit?"

me: "This not consider formal meh?"

that feller: "I'm so sorry, you are not allowed with this attire."


For Sure hor, she feels very jealous on me because seems I am the youngest one for the long long queu.


Honestly, I only saw those aunties and uncles at there. The feller behind me somemore discussing with his friend when to take DBA or PHD something. I don't think an 18 year old guy will do that. Sure he already more than 25..

muahahahahha.... still very proud that I am still youngest.


>.< >.<>.<>hor..

What kind of thing that I missed out, sure got something happen one. muahahahaha.... may be that I am lucky enough to escape from it..

Usually when it happen during...

"Har? today that LRT spoilt again ah? Lucky I just now actually wanna go XXX, then no go liao.."

see..

After that I just tried my luck to kinokunia.. For what?

"Miss, saya nake cari buku...... title-nya...'TWILIGHT'"

she: " 'TWILIGHT' dah habis stock lar.."

">.<" shit~~~~

>.< ************************** Today interview was like.. har? Second round interview? Yes, If I were the one who being selected, I am called for a second round interview which conducted by Singaporeans. And, the most funniest job interview question is. "Do you have any boyfriend?"

me: "YaYa, tomorrow I might get one...."


my CS assignment postpone again..

what for?

站在三岔口

感觉累了

你呢？

又哭了

发觉。 站在三岔口上。我。是真的有得选吗？

来来往往。

很烦。很烦。很烦。

够了吗？

很烦。很烦。

停了吗？

很烦

兜兜转转。 发现。我真的是在。 “生活”

可是。 这是我想要的吗?

我从来不相信有上帝。

你。 千万别告诉我这是上帝在安排。

我可以说你是在鬼扯吧。

可是我却相信有命运的存在。

看吧！

印度的恐怖袭击。

地球暖化。

国际金融风暴。

还有一堆的政治傀儡。

到底一天的死亡人数 是多少？

出生的呢? 死亡的多还是出生的多呢？

每个人都会有机会站在三岔口上。

贪心的我。

往往都想选择。同时把三条路都走完。

哭了。

不知不觉。

命运吗？

I feel Exhausted

I feel damn tired, my eyes and my brain. I feel i can't even have energy to think, my brain is like.. de-tranforming information to me eyes, my nose, my ears.....

I just have a walk from the King Crab from Kelana Jaya and to Kelana Jaya LRT station.

Then, from Masjid Jamek transit to Star Line.

Not very much standing while waiting for my dad.

I feel like I have walked for 12 km.

Yes, my leg starts aching..pain...ache..

I still have one more interview to go in this week tomorrow. And I then travel to KLCC.

OMG... I have job interviews.. It is headache and keep repeating that what I got and what I worked. >.<. I hope the following jobs interviews will be better go.

I need a break.

Anyone can bring me to Europe to travel during this winter, and to listen to ukulele...

Sicked and bored.

I need a new life to change my old one.

Search job is damn that not easy... To work in good condition, to work with good pay..

Sometimes just think to work for myself...

I am tired~

>.<

spell for tomorrow's interview.

the rich and poor

請注意，照片上是3只狗！

確實挺丟中國國人的臉。真他媽可恥！趕緊，能轉的都給我轉出去！

面對這樣一位年邁，處於生活艱難的老者時，她們母女這樣做就沒有一點良心上的遣責嗎？

這個就是那一對可惡的母女，大家看看它們的賊臉！一個模子刻出來的醜陋!

一名收破爛的老人不小心劃破了一年輕女子的牛仔褲，因拿不出對方要求的50元賠償，老人下跪十次。

當記者趕到德外大街高等教育出版社門口發現，一個穿灰色羽絨服的中年婦女正在推搡一名衣著破爛的老人，嘴裏喊著：趕緊賠錢！

周圍上百名路人圍觀。　旁邊站著一名20歲左右的女子，藍色牛仔褲腿處被劃開了一條兩三釐米長的口子。

被推搡的老人噙著淚水不停地懇求著，手裏捏著一疊毛票，總共8元零4分。

　

不就破一個小口子嗎，至於這樣為難人家嘛。看著下跪的老人，旁觀路人紛紛勸說得饒人處且饒人。面對路人的指責，中年婦女毫不在意，堅決要讓老人賠錢。　面對巨額賠償老人下跪．　

據瞭解，當時這對母女走到高等教育出版社附近的路口處，剛好老人騎三輪車拐彎，車上的鐵絲將年輕女子的褲子剮了一個小口。女子的母親要求老人賠她50元。無奈之下，老人撲通一聲跪下，不想對方絲毫沒有反應，老人連續下跪十次。　　

這一下把圍觀的群眾惹怒了，在附近大廈當保 安的武 先生憤怒地說：對待這樣一個年邁的老人，她們真是欺人太甚。說完，他將口袋裏的23元錢塞在老人手裏。

　　

記者試圖採訪這對母女時，該中年女子說：甭理她。　

路人為老人湊錢賠償．　　在老人懇求和解未果的情況下，中年婦女最終撥通110報警。5點50分左右，德外派出所的民警趕到現場進行調解，但該中年婦女認為賠償的錢不夠，拒絕和解。

這時，圍觀群眾自發掏出錢來，一元、兩元、十元……最後湊夠了50元。　

老人再次向圍觀群眾下跪，並不斷地說：謝謝，謝謝。中年女子拿到錢後，拉著女兒一聲不吭離開了。　　

當時圍觀的群眾紛紛表示賠償50元的結果對老人不公平。民警也表示無奈，稱這是民事糾紛，他們只能充當調解人的角色請各位傳出去..!`給老伯一個公道..!`比人們知道我們要怎樣做人..!!!!老人手裏只有8元零4毛.面對這樣一位年邁，處於生活艱難的老者時，她們母女這樣做就沒有一點良心上的遣責嗎.http://www.miniworld.com.tw/articles/dsay196258/1

See, this is how poor that people can live, and how rich that people can live. If you found youself is unable to pay50 bucks, will you tear your face off and do whatever that the next party demands?

Yes I will.. Because I am POOR.

However, I think if the ladies who are rich enough, they shouldn't walk on the street with their well-fake-dressed pomeranian. They should hire a driver to drive them wherever they wanna go. Or, just stay at house so your stupid fake levi's won't get spoilt .

Why you just need 50 bucks? I don't think if you were rich enough to buy that stupid jeans. I think it costs more than thousand or hundred? Why 50?

this is how stupid people live and how it is uncivilised. I wonder one day she could get more poorer than the old man, and I got the chance to spilt on their faces.

*pooi...... *pooi..... (plus my witch spells)

___________________________________

Check this link out for your best wishes.

http://www.23ty.com/xy/

Pei Pei is busying with her interviews

Feel pleassure to attend the interviews. Yes, only interviews. But, we are in the middle of struggling for jobs, expectation says that there will be a high unemployment rate in next year. I want to prove it wrong by using my Feng Shui method.

Bluff you one lar..

Importantly is to depend, work hard, and believe in yourself. Putting on Feng Shui stuffs, the jobs would not come automatically. You might wonder what am I doing now? Blog? Yes, there are still assignments to go... pei pei!!! wake up!! do homework!!!

I feel happy of those who called me formally and politely invite me to the interviews. They are sophisticated in providing a pre-orientation for me.

And I am so hate those ... gggrrrr~~!!


Yes, I applied to agency as well, just trust that they will provide more chances for me.

First case..

"Hello, can I speak to leo pei pei?" (of course they are calling because of Jobstreet)

then asking my status and what are the qualifications somethings and personal details.

First of all, I don't think it is neccessary to ask such long questions regard of my background or what so ever. I think I have written out very clear on my CV and Resume. Can you just slightly read on it.

I understand that they might test you on your ability to speak and to hang out with conversation. But, will keep it as clear and short, candidates most probably do not speak so much untill whatever can say. For me, I don't speak much. just, I have memorised what to speak.

I am studying now and complete my final year by end of this year and get a degree. So, i only available to start work start next year january. I would like to work as a management trainee with first choice and secondly will be in the HR department and my third choice will like to work in PR or Customer Service. My expected salary will be around 2000. I stay at puncak jalil which near to puchong kinrara, I don't have my own car but I have my own transport.

"Can you tell me what is your hobby or interes?"

I like to play piano and I play more than ten years

"erm.... what do you expect if you got chance to work for us in your post?"

I can work as job rotation in many departments and to contribute that what I have learnt in my programme.

"thank you"

da..da...da... there will not be any answers that more than it, cause I will probably answer it with my robot style. I don't blow water.

the most funniest thing is. Yesterday an job agency called. And ask me one-round-intestine (yat-lun-cheong) questions. And finally, she says: "Actually I got a post of Account Executive, and I am now searching for someone to work."

Politely, clamly answered : "Oh, that is not my field, I am studying International Business but not in Account, and I would like to work as management trainee."

WTF? You did not read what I got in my resume?

I wonder that is she seriously working ah?

Today, another freaking phone from another agency as well.

She used her personal phone, not the company's.

"you are now studying?"

"where do you stay? ... I have a job near to puchong one, you can work o not? saturday oso work half day one?"

I don't like to work on saturday since there is a long working hour from Mon to Fri.

"Then I got another one at Kelana Jaya.. you can work or not?"

it is so pissing me off, I just ignore it by

" Erm.. I think it is Ok cause I already have some interviews to go.."

"then like that I withdraw your application lar."

WTF?!

Can it be more specific? and formal?

I think she is the one who is the agent, she got no company but act as a medium chanel.

tsk tsk tsk..

My blow water...

My name is Leo pei pei, I am still studying now, and will complete everything by 31 of December and will like to start work on January 2009. I am having my BA(HONS) INTERNATIONAL BUSINESS, and I have good results. i like to play piano and would like to get a degree in future, Later I will like to do my master. I will work, contribute whatever I can and guarantee can perform very well. I like to swim, blog, read and watch movies. I am not that so rich, but not very the poor.

I like to play my ukulele before I sleep....

Blow water, as much as you can..

My dad will definitely mad at me if I work for DAP. >.<

aS ..research analyst

Going for interview tomorrow, Friday and next Friday..

Yesh...

I am on the Invitation

I am still in the middle of waiting the UEL to send me the new password. If they reply still without passwords. I will definitely crunch that ang-moh-lang



Let's talk something happy.

it is considered, I think..

yES

I got the invitation to Bill Clinton talk. muahahahahahahaha....

SPECIAL INVITATION
INAUGURAL SEKHAR MEMORIAL LECTURE WITH
THE HON. WILLIAM J. CLINTON

We are pleased to inform you that the Sekhar Foundation in association with the Asian Strategy & Leadership Institute (ASLI) is organising the Inaugural Sekhar Memorial Lecture by the former US President, The Hon. Bill Clinton

NO.. no...

I'm not those kind of very politic-oriented, I definitely don't like Politic one..

What is Politic har? What is Politic har?

Of course, everyone will pretend to don't-know anything. To avoid being protected under ISA.

YES!

YOU! YOU!!!

You don't jia jia ler.. I know you are the one who like to play play one..

But even we can't talk Malaysia's politic on blog, we still have some kind of freedom when we chi-chat on MSN and coffee shops. Unless you are a politician who blogs.

I feel exciting to attend the talk..

just to see his handsome face.. =P

Of course, I will talk more after I come back ya..

It is free, and can go for pre-register.. Join me!! KLCC, Centre Core Foyer, level 1. . 2 pm for register.

See you there~~

I hate UEL Direct Login

I hate it! Hate!

I remembered that I have sent several contact enquiry forms to the Web Team to require a brand new password to login(What so called- IT Helpdesk). Yet, no reply and I thought it was technical problems or due to some maintance. I resent few times again and again. Highlighted that it is urgent for me to view the modules results for my future interviews.

I got fed of it. They then reply:

"I have replied to you, and this is the second time, please refer to your previous email."

WTF. Of course I did not receive anything and thus "enquiries" several times. What for I refer to my previous mail? There is no previous mail either. I wonder which stupid ang moh lang was answering this. If you really did send me the new password, why don't you send me again to my mail and proved that you have sent?

Secondly..

from another may be lengchai or not angmohlang..

" Hi, can you please fill in the details such as your names, your Id number?"

Another WTF. I am sure definitely I attached my full details to you before I sent, what for I sent it without purpose. The most funniest thing is.. He replied that with my "FULLY ATTACHED DETAILS" which is shown below his replied mail. Do you have something call like "eye-sight-problem"? Or, you feel lazy to roll your mouse down to view my fully attached details?

I am thinking it is definitely a failure to them. Are they in the "really-serious-problem" of having this economy downturn or recession problem har? Or, they purposely do it? Just don't make fun of us, we are innocent lar...

I really hate it as it is not efficient and effective at all..This is the first time I come to it. Keep scolding, WTF.

Don't expect me to call them. No way from Malaysia to London.. WTF!