Dear Diary

I have such long time that I did not own a diary. And, may be it was three months ago. I stopped. Then, it was four years ago. Blog is not a diary for me. I can't shout out anything and just ramble what did I do for the days, weeks or months. However, they are similar in sense of happyness, sorrowness, complaints, arguments and dislike.

I wanted my blog acts like a diary so much.

Today, what did I do?

I attend the Monday class regularly but the lecturer was in MC. I got no idea why was the news did not come early to me and I seemed like an idiot attending classes but actually there is no one to come. I think everyone was there as seem it was the last day. It is not an official class today but just a briefing to the fucking sucks field trip which consists of 8% of report, compulsary.

I called my father to bring home and before that we went for a check up for his lauzy van. And, that is the only transport currently which uses to bring me here and there.

Later I reached back just sitting infrom my computer and starting on my pet society gaming. Fun but bored. I was so scared that I couldn't get the jobs that I applied but yet I still got the response from the agency. I slept in the whole afternoon. Was, headache, so pain. bUt, still playing with my pet game.

Yes, I did re-cook the curry chicken. Basically I think my mom's cooking is definitely a failure. I is proven. It is not tasty at all. I got no point to starve, but, just, eat it.

Night now, I can't imagine that I might become a singing teacher one day. I am teaching a friend of mine to sing. He claims that he sings not good. Wonder, I can teach online with open up my piano tutorial and singing lesson.

I got no mood to sleep. Yet, I am still pending in my CS assignment.

Waiting someone who could tell me..

Who are the designers for LV and Gucci brand ???????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I know it Fails. Again.

You have no idea why am I typing this while I am having a huge heavy kind of feel on my head is aching. Shit, I even don't aware whether am I typing the right things. I got no enough sleep last night because of keep feeding my peipei pet in my facebook's pet society. You must will think to join me there.

I played fool by the problematic lecturer this morning who ensured that we must attend her class on Monday morning to that briefing but she threw us a plane. She is MC. I wonder think to get crazy and madness full of my head, rather, just don't think too much, one more month to go and I can fly away very far far far far far~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I did not receive any calls neither from the agency nor the Xerox company. I know it is a bad sign and it is now almost 1pm. I should give some confidence and pay some faith to myself. But, prediction is not that always correct. Obviously, I wanted to cry.

I can't get any posts or any jobs that I applied for. Playing fool around just to attend interviews for fun. But, not keen to hire. Where, don't just simply view jobstreet and see there are plenty of jobs that hire this and that posts. It is just a illusion, a bluff, a trick. They don't mean it. Just to ask you to attend interviews which cost time and money and energy.

I CAN'T GET ANY JOBS THAT I APPLIED

I hate that... GIVE me A JOB!!

T__________T

my secondary life~

Wonder where is your ugly white and light blue uniforms had gone. I dumped it after finished my SPM four years ago. I still remember I owned 3 uniforms and 1 baju kurung. I hated to school but probably only travel to tuition centre. That's my secondary school life. I don't study. Most probably had well commanded in only few subjects like maths, accounts, economics and add maths. Sometimes, science and sejarah (history). Definitely think moral is unnessasry, and wtf is this sujbect teaching.

We was so exciting when Yuka first came here and joined our class. take picture~ take picture~


from left: me, ah lian, ah leng, yuka, ah yoke, yu teng, and yee teng.. (all are super old names)

Everyone was definitely an ah lian.


This was when form 5. I don't know whether it was Hari Guru or whatever function. But, I remember that we were going to a trip after this.

I got a super long hair during my ah lian century. Yes, the left one...


wonder where was I looking for..



This was in Form 5. Took the photo just after I chopped my hair. Just wanted to keep a photo to get a sweet memoirs for the SPM. = =


From left: me, ah leng, wai ting, ah lian, yee teng, ah yoke, maggie~~ muakakaka~



We have so many "ah teng"s in my secondary school.

this was when the traditional dance. IT IS NOT A GHOST STORY SCENE~ = =

A harsh harsh~ hard hard life

My dad was keeping mention about the life is such as game. Yes, I know it. So, how to keep it well-managed to avoid game over will be another discussion.

Our life is not solely belongs to ourself, but, people and environment which surrounds us. Yes, the network. For example, what are the things or phenomenan which surrounds you now. Me? I am going to print my thesis soon, going to do the corporate strategy, read my exam topics, going to field trip and recently interviewed with few companies that I am looking for jobs.

However, your life is a game, you say. On the other hand, you might become a game for your life to. Or, you are one of the characters which God uses you to play his/her game. Vice Versa.

Honestly, my point in this post is to express my anxiety and worry in doing my job best. I have no idea which is this a right decision that I made. Yes, somehow, I wish to go Fuji Xerox and try the hell-working-post of logistic executive. Long working hours and worse than sweatshops. Stress and committed to time. Precise and correct analitical results to be produced. And, firstly, your work sure will from 7.30 till late 9pm for a fresh new person who just go in.

I don't like to do sales as I hate to hit target monthly and approach the market that stresses me. Why don't I stress myself by just producing reports. Muahaha...

I have no idea.

I went to several companies and few of them demand for second round interview if I am the one who being shortlisted. It wastes my time as well theirs.

Anxiety and Worry, am I sustainable and mantainable enough to work in a full pressures kind of working life. Or, I just have to sit there and sipping my Milo drink.

I still choose the hard one. No matter 7.30am to 9.00pm, pay me RM1800.

wHY?

that is my life..

it sounds stupid..

aiyo~ I dono I can tahan or Not lar~~~

Too Busy yet too Free

I am crying for too busy and too free. I am supposed to be happy to attend any interviews. !@$$$#^%^*#$!#!.

I am really feel siick of interviews and agencies' call. They actually don't read what are my qualifications and the notice period also my expected salary.

Yes, I admit that sometimes I might just simply click on their post to apply. They do not provide specific job locations, specific responsibilities and scopes for us to refer. All will feel no point but just click on it and try the luck. Just wait their responses and may be it might be a good company.

For instance, one agency called for whether I am looking a job in a banks. Definitely I asked what banks. "Top 4 local banks" she said. Since I got no interest they are not going to tell any of it and then keep it secret. AND, they did not read my resume that I only available after December and wtf was they need me to start immediately. The last word that I always say when answering this kind of phone will "BYE BYE". I have sicked of it..

I just want to complete the entire interviews within this week and I am not going to attend any interviews anymore. Wish I could find one after the new year.

SICK~ SICK~ SICK~

and now I do feel so heavy head. Headache of printing out their location maps and wonder where is the place. Feel like vomit. Sigh~.

Today consider a last day for the CGG dr Chan's class. I do not know that I should happy or sad. But, just acknowledge that I could be happy after all I consider to leave the school soon and might be, hopefully. Excitement where there is still a long way to go. I am totally blurred, stucked and sicked of searching jobs that is most suitable for myself. Hope I am not the one supposed to be picky, still I have to be fussy in choosing jobs. Certain, I do not want to end my entire life without a little bit of nothing.

Cry~~~~..

Have a shower and nice sleep.

=S

Happy holiday and merry Christmas everyone.

the evolution

OK, this post will definitely create lotsa fun you guys. However, just promise me not to laugh until your jaw broke.. erm.. >.<

aiya

Still remember that time.. Yes, I was tiny, small and young. I did hate for any photo shooting sessions. I hate to take photo as people looking at me. As now, I love to take photos myself but not others staring at me.ok..

Thus, it is hard to find any passport size or those blue colour background photos when any emergency happen..

like.. "Oi, Pei Pei ah! You no more photo meh? I want to register the form wants your photo one.. you no take ah.."

See, that is how I will start to quarell with my parents, and, I very hate to take that stupid blue colour background photo.

And, all my family members will laugh at every single passport photo I took. Funny, yes.. they think it is very funny and how ugly I am.

When I was searching for passport size photos for my interview... I discovered:

this is when I was 5. I have no idea why my mom brought me for this. May be it was approaching the year in standard one.



this is when 9 years old. I have no idea as well. I have totally lost idea why I was this.



this was in Form 1. The first year that everyone has to take photos for their report cards, library cards and whatever.. I just.. yish.. so ugly..



Ok.

Just stop laughing ok...




yes...



NOW!!!!!!!






And, this was may be ... Form 4. For my passport and ET tuition centre ID.

My mom was laughing at me : "haha, you totally look like those ah moi's who just came from China or just like illegal immigrant. Sure the kastam will block you from departure after they view your passport.."

= =





this was the L lisence. I still remember that candidates who passed the driving undang-undang have to take a photo like this by them on spot. I was in trouble that I did not even have RM10 in my pocket, after I passed it. Someone lend RM10 to me, and then I can take it.. = =.. Horrible. TQ




this was during foundation year I think. Yes. In IC....



this is my P Lisence. Also Stamford ID.

I awared that I did not keep enough photos. Then I took this just after I got my SPM result and at the same day My grandma passed away. So, you can see my swolen eyes.

It appears in my UEL ID.

This is my Driving lisence. During year one I think....

Year 2's passport to Singapore. It looks really a vampire kind of.. yeah.. Twilight. = =. vApid.

Somehow, I hate it.. But, I still went for this.

I think was during age of 18. I have no idea when the photographer was so big in his expression like..

"yeah, be...happy... yeah...smile.... yeah..put your hands on side.... bla bla bla.." acting like those gay guy..

He even asked me to "open" my eyes widely. I apologized that my ability does not allow me to do so, and I rather demand for a slightly photoshoped results.. And those passengers were staring at at the middle of Mid Valley (took this in the centre of mid valley). Yee.. I still remember got one very hum-sup ang moh with big big tummy was staring at me.. >.<

Definitely like those 18 years old ah lian..

this is the most current one. Yes, 21st!

Still laughing?

= =

Vapid..

Whatever.

hng~